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I received this review of an article that deals with having difficult conversations. After our discussions last night, I found it very meaningful. The review is from the most recent "Marshall Memo" by Kim Marshall. =5. Tips for Difficult Conversations = In this //Education Week// article, author/consultant David Maxfield addresses the risky business of voicing concerns to a school leader, confronting a poorly performing colleague, or dealing with an unsupportive parent. “I’ve spent thousands of hours watching what teachers and other professionals do to succeed in these dicey moments,” say Maxfield. Here are his suggestions: • //Don’t wait until you’re angry//. It’s a mistake to bottle up emotions and then explode. “The time to talk is when you see the problem emerging and have not yet become emotionally invested,” says Maxfield. • //Don’t demonize the person//. Open your mind before you open your mouth, says Maxfield. Ask yourself, “Why would a reasonable, rational, decent person do that?” Try to see a person with flaws, not a villain with no soul. • //Make the conversation safe for the other person//. Start by trying to find common ground and showing respect; this should reduce defensiveness. • //Step up to the plate//. The reason many people don’t engage in difficult conversations is that they say to themselves, “It’s not my job.” It’s everyone’s job to prevent ineffective performance that harms children. • //Engage in dialogue, not monologue//. Don’t go into a difficult conversation assuming that you can speak your mind and the other person will hear you. “This egocentric approach… inevitably provokes defensiveness,” says Maxfield, “eventually convincing the teacher it was a waste of time to even try.” It’s much more effective to come to the conversation intensely curious to hear the other person’s perspective. This invites the other person to be open and increases the chances that learning will take place.

“Running Into the Fire: Survival Tips for Education’s First-Responders” by David Maxfield in //Education Week//, Oct. 7, 2009 (Vol. 29, #6, p. 28-29) []

Christa Pospisil